yours and mine
i sometimes wish i could just be anonymous and just walk down a street just like everyone else. before i was famous, i was the girl on the hill with the guitar. i was the girl that just wanted a beautiful view of the beach. and now that I’m famous it’s really really difficult to do very simple things. i think it’s the hardest thing to give up. but my mother always taught me to be strong: and to never be a victim, never make excuses, never expect anyone else to provide for me things that i know i can provide for myself. i have dreams. and i feel like i have a power to make those dreams become a reality.
when you’re famous no one looks at you like a human anymore. you become the property of the public. there’s nothing real about it. [just look at these dazzling women, the finest representatives of our nation. ready to reach for the stars and grab the crown!] you can’t put your finger on who i am. i can’t put my finger on who i am. i am complicated i grew up with a lot of conflict and traumas, and I’ve been through a lot. just like everyone else. my escape was always music, and i’m so lucky that that’s my job.
but if i accomplished al of these things and had no one to share it with it would be worth nothing. you know you need something real in order for any of this stuff to matter.
you have to have something that is forever. something that is invisible.
i was brought up seeing my mother try to please and make everyone comfortable. and um i always felt like it was my job to fix the problem. people-pleaser. but i’m no longer afraid of conflict, and i don’t think conflict is a bad thing. because i know that when you grow up, when you learn a few things, you no longer afraid of letting go. you’re no longer afraid of the unknown. you’re no longer afraid of going to certain places in your body and your mind and your soul that may make you feel uncomfortable.
and it all starts with if you can look yourself in the mirror and say i like that person, you know. if i hadn’t gone through some of the painful experiences in my life, i would not be me.
“I feel like my body is borrowed, and this life is very temporary.”
i watched my friend’s body deteriorate, and to see someone pass on so gracefully put everything into perspective. we do not value ourselves enough, especially young people don’t really appreciate how brilliant our bodies are. I’ve always been ver very specific and very choosy – very choosey – about what i do with my body and who i want to share that with. people feel like they lose something when they get married, but it doesn’t have to be that way. there’s nothing more exciting about having a witness to your life.
i always consider myself a feminist although i was always afraid of that word because people put so much on it. when honestly, it’s very simple, it’s just a person that believes in equality for men and women. men and women balance each other out and we have to get to a point where we are comfortable appreciating each other.
i have a lot of empathy for men and the pressures that they go through, and the cultures that have been created, especially for african-american men. i have the same empathy for women and the pressures we go through. the woman has to provide so many things for their children. i consider myself a humanist.
you know everybody’s not good at everything. you know, it’s okay to depend on someone. it’s actually what we’re supposed to do, we’re supposed to depend on each other. and when you find the person that you trust and you love and you feel is going to respect you and and take all of the sxxt you have a turn it around and bring out the best in you. they feed you it is the most powerful thing you can ever feel in your life. happiness comes from you, no one else can make you happy. you make you happy.
and one thing that is for sure: the love i have, for music, for my husband, for my child, is something that will last far beyond my life.