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Serving With Slaysia, Ep. 4

Asia… Asia, Asia: Asia. Is a very real thing. And reality will deal. In increasing measure. Well into the forseeable future. Asia is a Hollywood Renaissance. Black, Female, French, Bulldog. Serving for the stars. Slaying for life. Sitting sideways. Shading moonlight. Asia didn’t sign up for this, but — as a wise man once said: you don’t sign up for what you’re born into. Asia was born to slay for life and serve the light. Werk. It. Black. Sheesus. #amen

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I stole Mommy’s cellphone and will be posting photos all day long. I HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!” – @MissAsiaKinney

Act 1: Serving “I’ll Worry About My Opposable Thumbs – You Worry About Your Data Plan” Realness

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I love to eat while I sketch my ideas for the fashionable puppy line I’m starting!

Act 2: Serving “Let Them Eat Couture” Realness

 

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I get hooked up with the finest in puppy products, so I really have a knack for what’s quality. My vision is to find creative & functional ways for pets and their owners to bond!

Act 3: Serving “Function, meet Fashion; Conjunction Funcshion, meet the Finest Hook Up This Side of Neverland” Realness #creativerebelleion

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ORGANIC GRAIN-FREE LOCAL FARM INGREDIENTS are the best for our body and brain. That’s what I eat! That’s why I’m inspired to also create A Pet Food Line.

Act 4: Serving “GRAIN-FREE MEANS CAGE-FREE MEANS KANYE CAPS – LOCALS ONLY MEANS LOCALS ONLY: #CHICKENS” Realness

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After a sunny morning looking out for ‘Bunnies & Truffles’, I love sniffing around the rose garden for the latest luxuries!

Act 5: Serving “Cosmopolitan Coming-of-Age” Realness… where Botticelli meets the Bildungsroman #HereComesKojiCottontail #PigsLoveTruffles #MaturationStation

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Keep a look out for a special announcement. I’m the star of a new campaign for a major luxury fashion brand. You never know, I could grace the pages of Italian Vogue.

Act 6: Serving … I can’t… Look, at, that, face. The realness can’t be contained by quotation demarcation. Let’s note, that Asia has a diamond and pearl collar that serves “Loving Me Is Like Chewing On These” Realness. She has a purse. Asia, has a… gold clutch, that serves “Reverse Ownership” meets “More Studded V, Mother Monster Couldn’t Get Through To Me” Realness; while the collective spread gives pure “Champagne Meets Crystalline On The Solo Picnic Scene,” “Close Down Roseland, Open Up Rosegarden,” “The Reality of Not Allowing This Face To Fool You – I Beg Of You, Please Realize Said State of All Proximal Realities” Realness to the utmost… Um, and no – I know, but we can’t right now with the over-the-shoulder… it’s, it’s much too much… Asia knows the collective sentiment.

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I love reading high fashion magazines and invisioning the clothes & accessories in dog sizes for my Pet Clothing Line

Act 7: Serving “Hold Your Head High, Paws (Figuratively Considering) To The Sky… They Gon’ Try to Try Ya, but They Can’t Deny Ya #keepitmovinghigher” with an incomparable dose of “For the Stars, For the Gods, Honoring For the Selfie Nation” Realness … and a side of “The Only Time I Envision ‘En’ before a ‘V’ is when I’m Freeing My Mind with 90s R&B #Invision #EnVogue” meets “My Champagne Glass Remains Half Full, I Am Puppy Ambition – Never Thirsty #sipstea” #educationisthemotivation #readupchildren

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In the afternoon, I go for a ride. I have SKIN & FOOD ALLERGIES, so I’m an expert in the most PROTECTIVE, COMFY, & STYLISH FABRICS FOR DOGS. Sometimes even Mommy’s jealous of my lks! …

Act 8: Serving “Keep In Mind That I’m An Artist – And I’m Sensitive About My Skin” meets *”Applause” VEVO Certified Voice* “that scene – my dog” Realness with a daughter dose of “some Eliza Doolittle realness. My life is cinema.” Realness. Um, and again – can’t even with the diamonds (crystals?) in the ears… she hears you loud and alchemically (Swarovski?) clear… girl’s best doublegem twins #SecretSafe

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After a long day of work, laying in the roses, trolling the chicken coop, & walking on the town. I get a nice bath that is gentle on my skin with warm towels that keep this short-hair happy!

Act 9: Serving “Planet Billy GOAT Plush” Realness #ShortAndSweet #KeepItRealDotDotDotClean

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Once in a while I even get aroma-therapy massage and it really helps me wind down if I have an itchy day! Mommy and I can recommend all sorts of soothing remedies.

Act 10: Serving “Scent of a Recommendation” meets “Soothe You Can Use” Realness

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I can’t wait to share even more of my ideas. Look out for even more about me on littlemonsters.com! I can’t speak, but I try my piggy best to show “Thank you” and “I love you” with my eyes. Every dog is forever a puppy and should be loved like one.

Act 11: Serving “Eye Saw The Sign” meets “Hush, Puppy Love” Realness

(… Meanwhile, on Planet Fainting Goat, I’m serving “I just came to littlemonsters.com to have a good time, and ever since they kicked me off for what I assume to be underutilization of said platform – I’m feeling really attacked, and bullied, right now” Surrealness… neither here nor there, just a parenthetical aside.)

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Watch This Space: … and those Brown Eyes.